“42 Years of Marriage” by Suzanne Matthews

February 7, 1976 we were young and starry eyed and didn’t have a clue what real life was about. We know now. At least in part. When you have raised a family, had various careers, lost parents, been blindsided by health issues, and reached the age of 64, – you toughen up and wise’n up. Recently we sat down and talked about how we made it to 42 years. What were the little things that kept us on track and the lifelines that drew us back together? God didn’t come up in our conversation; it was understood He was our conversation. He did it all.

Her take

I don’t know if other couples have noticed this, but over the years it has been quite obvious that we never have been hit hard at the same time. We’ve never had the flu at the same time, navigated job changes at the same time, walked through personal lows at the same time. Yes, we have grieved together and suffered family trials over the same things and during the same time periods, but when one of us would be in our darkest days, the other was able to stay steady, encourage, and hold down the fort.

His take

When we have been mad at each other we didn’t stay that way long. Life was such that in a day or two we couldn’t even remember why we were mad in the first place. In 42 years of marriage you experience every emotion imaginable. There’s anger and happiness, sadness, joy, disappointment, disillusionment – the whole scope. Somehow all the emotions come and go, but they never last. Love lasts.

Her take

I remember one particularly hard season and I was reading Beth Moore’s Bible study and she mentioned to pray to fall in love again with your spouse, and for your spouse to again fall in love with you. I wasn’t sure that was possible, but I believed God was the author of bringing life from death. Loving someone and being in love are two different things. I can vouch that God is, was, and always will be in the loving and again falling in love business.

His take

We have always been supportive of each other’s outside interests. From the beginning she married a duck hunter and that takes most weekends in December and January with the exception of Christmas. So, when she would have various functions or be invited to the beach or want to attend a retreat, I’d willingly keep the kids. She supported my hobbies; I supported hers. It’s been an unwritten mantra in our marriage and it’s still that way.

Her take

I’ll end with this: When we got married, I thought the best words in the English language were my husband telling me how much he loved me. In the thick of things and the thin, I changed my mind. Over the years he has said to me words that became almost as important as “I love you.“ Those words? “I’ve got your back.”

His take

I’ll end with this: Some of you will not even remember this song. It was popular when we were young. It’s When I’m Sixty Four, by the Beatles. When we married age 64 was so far out of reach we never thought we’d get there. Now we are there, and there’s a comfort in being where we are with each other.

“When I’m Sixty Four”

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

Suzanne and Ben Matthews celebrate 42 years of marriage today. Their four grown children (Houston, Nate, Sarah & Molly), with their spouses and 7 grandchildren make up the Matthews clan.You can keep up with them through Suzanne‘s weekly blogs at suzannewmatthews.com.

 

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Tags: anniversary, faith, Marriage, Our City On A Hill, Suzanne Matthews, when I'm 64