“Joy in Suffering and the Merry Widows Club” by Jana Marshall
When I was young I remember having uninterrupted joy! Just enjoying a day for what it brought and not having a care in the world. I read a blog that spoke about how nice it would be to have a day of uninterrupted joy. The author stated the weariness of finding the “joy in the middle of the struggle.”
As I thought about this, I thought about my small group of women who are all widows. We are walking this season together. We are learning to lean into our sadness and help one another find joy in the midst of our separation. As our leader often tells us… “we come in our pain” to share in our struggle.
We unite on this common thread of losing our husbands and Christ as our anchor. As we sit around the table, we share our stories and encourage one another with God’s Word and love, and I come away feeling so encouraged. We speak into each other’s lives in very personal ways that we could not have done prior to our loss. As our friendships have melded…we find ourselves giddy with laughter… enjoying one other’s company in midst of the pain. So much so…that we have adopted the name “Merry Widows”.
That is an oxymoron no doubt!
MERRY – WIDOW; JOY- SUFFERING
But God speaks about this throughout the Bible.
I think immediately of James 1:2-4 “Count it all joy … when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” ESV
When I search my heart and my life, I can honestly say that when I find joy in my pain…it comes from a deeper place in my heart. The joy seems more authentic and lasting. I am learning what it means when God tells us in our weakness He is strong. This unexplainable joy is a continuation of that principle.
Bottom line…God does NOT NEED me (lil’ ol’ me) for Him to affect those around me. He can work in lives without me…but He has given me the opportunity to be part of what He is doing and I do not want to miss it!
That is where the joy is!!! Letting Him use me in the midst of my struggle to bring encouragement to someone else.
It is in being used with my depression, hurt, heartache, and weakness that feels much like a deformity that I want to hide or run from. But these are actually gifts that God can shape into goodness. God uses everything! Nothing is wasted with him… He is pursuing me in this pain. I can choose to be part of that ride or choose to stay in my little imaginary, impenetrable bubble never testifying all the good that God does through my heartache.
While there is a time to retreat, we do not need to live there!! There is no room for anyone except my curled up body in that small “safe feeling” space. It is isolating and I am missing the appointment that God has given me. He does not need my polished self to paint this beautiful picture…He needs my broken and contrite and willing heart. I cannot be too tired to find joy in the middle of the struggle. Seeking His face in the midst of this difficult time validates the struggle I am in. Instead of hiding away in my heartache and fearing what the day may bring…I can look into the day and offer these things to God to turn the ashes to beauty.
We are simply the vessel for him to use and there is such joy in being used that way. It is about HIM, not us! My struggle can be a gift to others…My prayer is that you not miss the opportunities you may have before you today! Let God use your heartache for good.
This picture came up in my memories on Facebook…Such Joy dancing with my husband…
“Peace I leave with you, my [perfect] peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let my perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.] ~John 14:27 AMP
“I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2 ESV
~ Written by Jana Marshall
Jana and her late husband Bob made Huntsville home in 2005 where Bob retired after 22 years of service in the USMC. Bob received his wings to be with Jesus in Heaven on April 20, 2019. At the onset of the diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer in October 2017, Bob’s response was, “This is simply a change in ministry for us.” At that point, Jana began to write from the place of pain seeing that God uses all of who we are to minister to others. With that in mind, Jana is fueled to minister to others who are dealing with loss and to use their story to encourage and draw others to Christ. Bob’s departure was the ultimate deployment, but he leaves behind a legacy of goodness through their two children, Sam and Carolyn. Jana is humbled and counts it a great privilege to be able to share their story and see how God uses it to His glory.
Everyday Jana prays “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 NIV
There are days He directs Jana to write and she finds great joy in sharing how the Lord meets her and reminds her of His unfailing love.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted; he delivers those who are discouraged.” Psalm 34:18 NET
One Comment
Jana, I also lost my husband of 22 years to pancreatic cancer. It was a horrible time in my life, the worse ever. God also has given me the strength to go on and has blessed me with a church family and friends who provide co start love and support. God bless you!