“Meaningful Apologies” by Katie Wilson
*Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Meaningful Apologies
Have you ever received an “I’m sorry” from your kids or someone else that didn’t feel like an apology at all? I have and sadly, I have probably given a few fake “I’m sorries” as well. I am truly SORRY for that and I plan to never do that again.
But have you ever received a sincere-to-the-bone apology, the kind that is so deeply remorseful that it was your pleasure to receive it and quickly give forgiveness for the wounds inflicted?
I have and healing washed in like a tidal wave.
If I am being honest, I have been afraid to write this post. My heart has been in a wide-open, blood-gushing broken-down state since Charlottesville. That heartbreak was compounded after seeing the movie, Wind River, a film which sheds light on some of the areas in which we have failed our Native American communities. Our country has a history of racism and we are clearly still wrestling on the broken glass left behind.
Imagine, for a just second, what a wrestling match on broken glass would look like:
bloody, messy and possibly lethal.
If you were watching this go down, wouldn’t you do anything possible to stop the wreckage right before your very eyes?
God confirmed that He was asking me to tell the world about HIS justice and to not be afraid to speak out. He asked me to shine a light, to help stop this fight!
I have told ALL your people about your JUSTICE.
I have not been afraid to speak out,
as you, O Lord, well know.
I have not kept the good news of your JUSTICE hidden in my heart;
I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
I have told EVERYONE in the great assembly
of your unfailing love and faithfulness.Psalm 40:9-10 NLT
So, I am stepping out in obedience. I am laying down my fear and clinging to my faith. Out of the overflow of my heart, I am writing a sincere-to-the-bone apology to anyone who has ever been hurt by a white person. I pray that you hear this as if it were coming directly from the ones who have crushed you the most; I pray that healing begins and forgiveness comes.
Meaningful Apologies:
To Anyone Who Has Ever Been Hurt By A White Person
I do not expect
a poem to erase the past.
But I do hope this poem
Leaves a beauty mark that lasts.
To the ones who have been hurt,
ignored or left behind
I want to say I’m sorry.
I want to just be kind.
If you were forced onto a ship
And brought here against your will,
Ignorance and evil
Were the ones who wrote that bill.
An apology won’t heal the wound
But I am so sorry anyway.
I won’t ignore the past.
How can I love you well today?
If your land was taken
By white men long ago
There’s no excuse. That’s abuse.
It’s time we let you know.
We’ve treated you as if
Your life was second best.
I cringe in utter horror
A history I detest.
Black lives matter.
Yes they do.
To the Native American community,
I SEE YOU.
The United States of America
Is divided to the core.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
God has something more.
Pride comes before a fall.
The fall we have perfected.
A humble heart bows down low
Before the ones they’ve neglected.
I’d like to make a vow
I’d like to start today.
I want to be your friend.
I want to hear what you have to say.
God sees us as family.
We’re related; I’m so glad.
Can we rewrite history,
Bringing good from all the bad?
God is in the business
Of making all things new.
Nothing is impossible;
I’m in.
Are you?
I LOVE YOU- I REALLY DO!
*I painted this last year as one of the ways I envision compassion. I also see this as a visual representation of how a meaningful apology reaches out and touches someone; it is up-close and personal.
I pray this post continues to stir our hearts and that it nudges us to lean into where they break.
How will we respond?
I want to play a part in making today and tomorrow a little better than yesterday. I know that is not possible without Christ. And I believe that is the heartbeat of most. In a culture that is quick to assume the worst, I hope to leave a legacy of assuming the best.
Let’s link arms in love. We are most definitely better together!
About the Author: Katie Wilson
A freedom freelancer, prayerful painter and clarion for Christ. Connect with and read more from Katie on her blog, http://psalm8110.com
11 Comments
just BEAUTIFUL, Katie!
Where did you see Wind River? Have you seen “Same Kind of Different as me”? Not sure when it is to come out, but the book is powerful. I believe you did that painting during Kairos last Oct – it has even more significance now. Thank you for sharing
We saw Wind River last weekend. It’s a sad story but one that so needed to be told. And yes “Same Kind of Different as me ” was a book that changed my life. “What Difference do it make” was the sequel and it too left beauty marks on my heart!!! That was my poster for Kairos and still one of my favorites due to the layers of meaning I continue to find in it. Love you!
Katie, will you please share this at our upcoming Diversity Dinner on October 10th at the Cooper House at 6:30 pm? All who are seeking racial reconciliation are welcome to attend.
I love everything about this piece. Your poem is perfect and the sincerity of your apology is such a healing balm. Thank you for consistently being the change you desire to see in the world.
So honored to call you both sister and friend!
It would be my blessing and honor to share my poem at the Oct 10th Diversity Dinner! You always inspire me to try and memorize my poetry so I will try and do it by heart that night:) It 100% reflects my heart so I pray God helps it roll off my tongue without notes:) Love you more than a poem can say❤️
Katie, I love your compassionate heart and how you are able to express your heart so beautifully.
Thank you so much Sandy! Sometimes with poetry you don’t know if people will read it and hear it the way you pray they do. Poetry is not everybody’s jam but it seems to be one of the ways God wired me to communicate, I kind of dream and speak in a Dr. Seuss dialect:) I am so thankful you heard my heart❤️
Your piece Literally brought tears to my eyes. I love your heart ❤️
I am so ashamed of and sorry for the history of racism in our country. I believe a better today and tomorrow is so possible and I want to be a part of “life giving”, not past stuffing or excuse making. When I ask God daily, “how do I love like You?” I constantly hear the whisper-humility and kindness, things I want to ever be growing in and finding creative ways to express love where it’s needed the most. Anything good that comes from me is CHRIST ALONE and anything weird is me:) ❤️❤️❤️
Katie!!!!! This hurt so good.
Keep writing Sis we need to hear your voice & see God’s justice.
This is absolutely beautiful touched my ❤️!!!!
I absolutely felt your apology. This is beautiful.