“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14 (NLT)

“So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

James 1:4 (ESV)

It is 7:38 am on Saturday morning, and I am both up and writing. That reality is, quite literally, the work of years.

In high school and college, I wrote a lot — both for myself and for school. For myself, it was mostly poetry and journals. I worked hard at my poems, entered a few contests, won a few prizes, and was published in my college journal. I found it relatively easy to write for others — I was a technical writing major and dabbled in journalism. Conversely, I found it excruciatingly difficult to write for myself. My writing at that time came from a very deep, very emotional, very personal place. I didn’t often share it; I feared disinterest, I feared disdain, I feared dismissal, but most of all, I feared ridicule. But I knew that I really, really, wanted to write, and I believed at that time that perhaps, maybe, I could make my living as a writer.

I worked up all my courage to register for and attend a poetry workshop on my campus facilitated by a nationally-known poet. I will spare you the details, but let me summarize by saying that every single fear I had about sharing my writing came true during that awful weekend. I came away knowing that I couldn’t write, and determined that I wasn’t going to try anymore.

And yet — God is so good! — the truth is, I make my living as a writer, and in one way or another, I always have. It’s true that “writer” does not appear in the title of a single one of my day jobs. It’s true that I believed until very recently — truly believed — that I couldn’t write. But it also true that El Shaddai, God the Almighty, would not be thwarted. Every job I have had — every one! — required me to write, not just a paragraph here or there, but reams, and reams, and reams of words. Academic papers. Motions. Legal briefs. Resumes. Curricula. Syllabi. 50 page, 100 page reports. All those decades, while I was firmly believing that I couldn’t write, God was consistently, patiently, and lovingly requiring me to hone my skills, develop my craft, and then one day last year, He told me: “It’s time. Write. Write for me.” And so I began.

Let me tell you a secret. There is a little voice inside me that still occasionally whispers that I can’t write. And I am still deathly afraid of ridicule. But the desire that God grew stronger all those thirty years that I “didn’t write” tells me that the little voice is probably wrong. And the bigger voice inside of me — the voice of truth — tells me to be patient, and to persevere. It tells me that with each word I write, I am growing. So, in spite of sometimes still believing that I can’t, I’m trying. I write a little, I write a little more, and with each word, God grows me just a little more into the person He intends for me to be.

Prayer:

“Father, I know that you created me, that you love me, and that you have great plans for me. Forgive me for my doubt and fear. Please walk with me today as I step out in faith wherever you are leading me. When I become afraid of failure, remind me of your Word: ‘Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.’* Thank you for loving me. Amen.”

Reflection:

• Is there something that God wants you to do that you are afraid to try?

• Have you allowed a Godly desire of your heart to be derailed by some worldly critic who has told you that you aren’t good enough?

Treasure Hunt:

Isaiah 41:10

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (ESV)

Jeremiah 17:7-8

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (NIV)

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (NLT)

Faith in Action:

First: take heed. You — have value. Your ideas — have value. Your thoughts, your goals, your dreams, your aspirations — have value, because you — YOU! — are fearfully and wonderfully made. Meditate on the truth and beauty of God’s Holy Word in Psalm 139:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Next: take a step. Take just one step in the direction God wants you to go, and Yahweh Roi — The Lord your shepherd — will lead you and guide you the rest of the way. No matter what has passed before, it is never, never too late. He loves you; He wants His best for you. If you are scared, start small. Write one sentence. Plant one flower. Paint one sunset. Take one photograph. Walk one block. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will direct your path. Hallelujah! I hope you’ll start today.

©Leah Cusker 2014

Author: Leah Cusker A Navy daughter, Army veteran, Army wife, and Marine mom, Leah lived in five countries, a dozen states, and twenty-one houses before God called her family to make a home in Huntsville. Married to the amazing Sean and blessed by three incredible kids, Leah came to Christ as an adult after decades of brokenness and has a heart for all women in similar circumstances. She thanks God daily for His gifts of redemption and salvation through Christ and believes passionately in the power of relationship to inspire change. Leah’s prayer is for every person she encounters to see through her and to the Savior. When she isn’t cooking, cleaning, parenting, or teaching, you will most likely find her digging in the yard, walking in the woods, worshiping with her family, or drinking much more coffee than is good for her.:)

Tags: christ, faith, Huntsville, Leah Cusker, Our City On A Hill, patience, Soul Food